Eleanor’s wants and needs are pretty simple at this point. She likes nursing, being held and rocked, being sung to, and sleeping. She hates being put down, being awake for extended periods, and pooping. She’s not all that keen on stroller rides or baths either.
She has definitely been keeping us busy. I don’t know if she needs the warmth of being held or if she just likes hearing a heartbeat, but she never lets us put her down. I try to put her down in exactly the same position I had been holding her in, but she always wakes up within a few minutes. It’s easier to just hold her and let her sleep on us than to try and console her over and over as she becomes increasingly tired.
Adjusting to life with a baby has been fairly easy for me. She sleeps pretty well at night, waking to eat every few hours but falling back asleep right away. When she does wake for the day, she’s usually in a pretty good mood and I can set her in a bouncy seat while I take a shower, so we have a good little routine starting. And I haven’t experienced any of the ‘baby blues’ that I know are so common. Maybe I’m just lucky, but I’ve been so happy taking care of her.
The only difficulty I’ve had has been with breastfeeding. Nursing has definitely been a lot harder than I thought it would be and there have been days where I’ve almost wanted to quit. The latch-on is painful, causing me to cry along with Eleanor sometimes. I know that breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt, but for me it does. I’ve met with two lactation consultants (one in the hospital, one in my home), and both told me that I’m doing it correctly. The second LC did say that Eleanor has a high palate and that I may just have to wait for her to get a little bigger and “grow into her mouth”. I think the worst of the pain has passed, so I’m just going day by day and hoping things improve soon.
On a happier note, I want to start a little photo project with Eleanor. I want to take a picture of her each month either holding the same object or sitting in the same place (maybe the Eames rocker?). I think it will be great to look back at a collection of photos to see how she grows. :)
233 comments
Milusha
Eleanor is so adorable! I know what you mean about nursing being painful! I too cried when I nursed my son Elliot. It was so very painful at first I too almost gave up if it wasn’t for the encouragement from my husband. Now it’s not too bad. When Elliot latches onto my right breast, it still hurts so that’s the one I start with. My toes curl and I wince. I am guessing his mouth just favours the left more. Am glad though that things have improved!
Rebekah
Nursing can really *~HuRT~* at the beginning. I nursed my daughter for over 2 years since she had a milk and soy allergy. I nursed my son for about a year and a half. Sometimes I had to use labor pain coping techniques while nursing. It DOES get WAY better after a while! Hang in there, and if you decide you’re done, that’s okay too. I don’t understand why something that’s supposed to be natural, according to how the body is made, can be so hard.
I hope this is encouraging!
(((Hugs)))
Rebekah
justme
She is lovely!
daisy mae
My son wouldn’t let me set him down either. I finally got a sling from hotslings.com when he was about 4 months old. I wish I had done it sooner. He was already so big, I had to stuff him in there, but my hands were free to crochet and get some chores done. He had to fall asleep laying on me as well and then I would slide him off to lay between us. Not recommended by the experts, but I needed to sleep! I wish I had tried harder to set him down. His crying would break my heart though. He never stopped, so crying it out was not an option. One time, I was so exhausted I fell asleep with him screaming his head off in the crib a foot from me. For an hour! He’s one now and not clingy so I don’t know if holding him was a good or bad thing. It’s all about what you are comfortable with. He *just* started sleeping through the night. By the end of that year, I was so tired and ready to sleep 8 blissful hours without getting up to nurse him twice a night.
Katie
Nobody told me how hard the b-feeding would be either but if you’re 3 weeks in, I guarantee one day soon you think think: “hey, this doesn’t hurt anymore!!” I promise. Then it will be a breeze. Good luck, you’re doing a great job. My one piece of advice for all new parents is to get a hefty load of earplugs. That way when dad takes care of baby and mama can sleep in, you won’t hear a thing. The ear plugs have literally saved my life. Cheers to you.
TracyKM
She’s precious! My BF went okay for the first two weeks, then I suddenly had pain for a week with latch, with each of my kids. It went away again. So many give up when it gets hard, but it almost always gets WAY easier.
If she likes being held so much, and hates the stroller, then why not use slings? Babywearing is one of the best things I did as a parent!
natalie
i enjoy reading your blog and feel compelled to write you, like the other 200+ people who have reached out. breastfeeding SUCKS at first! i’ve breastfed 2 babies and enjoyed all of it, minus the first 3 weeks. you’re on the verge of entering the ‘comfortable’ zone. trust us/me! if it gets too bad, take a few days break and pump and give her a bottle. i did this for days 8-14/18 with both of mine and they still nursed for 12 months. try a relaxed approach, as it looks like you’re good at, and you’ll be successful! hang in there, friend!
Fiona
And three words for you: Ameda Gel Pads. Thank God for them.
Fiona
I’m so glad you are having fun. I had a terrible time nursing, too, and that seems to be more common than not. My daughter had a tongue tie, which apparently made it harder, and I eventually just gave up and pumped. I hope you have better luck! I won’t lie, because I want other people to not feel bad if they have trouble–I found the whole trying-to-nurse process extremely trying and sobbed heartily a few times.
Carol
She is BEAUTIFUL!!!
Susie
She is so beautiful.
Congratulatios
Kiss from Portugal
Mandy
Keep up with the nursing/ breastfeeding. It is worth it. I went through a few weeks of sore/ dry/ bleeding nipples but went on to feed both my babies until they were 15 mnths old. Very rewarding!
Also, just a note on the ‘wanting to be held’ thang. She really needs to get used to being elsewhere. Otherwise you’ll end up with a VERY clingy, whingey baby that will go to nobody else but you to be settled. The best advice I can give (and some mums do not agree) is to have a go at controlled crying. Not for everyone, cos it can break your heart, but worth it in the long run. Both my babies slept for 8 hrs a night due to using this type of method from about 6 weeks old. And 12 hrs a night from about 4 mnths. Wonderful! The ‘cry’ she makes is probably just a protest (who wouldn’t want to be carried around all day?) but she will soon learn that it is not so bad watching mum and dad from a different vantage point in the room. Another tip is to put her to bed while she is awake. If she is sleeping in your arms and you put her down she may freak out when she wakes and realises you’ve deceived her!
Anyway, I learnt all this as I went along, and you will too. And I am bringing it out of the back of my head as I eagerly await number 3….
Cheryl
She’s beautiful!
Nursing was something I was so excited to do, but something that did not come easily. I would grit my teeth, curl my toes and stomp my feet during latch on for the first 6 weeks with my first. I didn’t know anything could hurt that much. I asked a friend in those first few weeks if it hurt when she nursed, and she said “you mean, does it feel like someone is driving nails through my nipples? YES.” I have difficult nipples (somewhat inverted, evidently), which only compounded the problem. But I stuck it out, and I’m so glad I did. Nursing was one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done, and with girls who are now 6 and 10, it’s one of the things I miss most about the early days. Definitely keep up the good work, and I promise it gets easier with time. The way I figure it, the first few days of nursing, the baby bruises you, and the next few weeks hurt because she’s essentially mashing and pulling on your bruised bits until they get used to it. No wonder it hurts! With my second child, 4 1/2 years later, it was only painful for a week or two.
Hang in there!
Zoe
Holy crap, she’s so adorable! Truly, an angelic child.
cher
Hang in there with the nursing. No one ever told me how hard it was- how nice for you to have the internet and get so many supportive comments.
I saw several lactation consultants and they always told me the kids were latching on fine but man did I cry. I bit down on pencils and did weird mind games just to focus on something else. But it got better overnight it seemed, after several weeks though.
You’re not alone!
Robin
Hi Nicole, delurking to say I hear ya with the nursing! I had my son in Oak Park at West Sub two years ago and the best advice I got was to call the Art of Breastfeeding. If you google Art of Breastfeeding Chicago it is the first thing that comes up. Anyway, Peggy saved my sanity and my will to keep up the nursing despite my son’s aggro reflux and my rampant oversupply. Nursing was something I really didn’t want to give up on. We made it through, and Peggy came to my house twice to help me. It was worth every cent and more. Enjoy that little lady, I know its a cliche but my god they grow up fast. My son turns two on Tuesday and I feel like I just blinked. You guys are a beautiful family. Congratulations!
shelley
Beautiful little baby. I just had my 2nd baby on May 9th and have experienced the breast pain all over again. Despite the fact that everyone says it shouldn’t hurt, even with a correct latch, they’re just sore for a good 4 or 5 weeks as much as I hate to say it. But every week they do get better. As long as you don’t have cracking or bleeding (lube them w/ Lansinoh), the soreness is totally normal.
Kate
I just wanted to chime in and say she is a beautiful, beautiful baby. And nursing *does* hurt, but as everyone else has said, it will get better and the bonding is totally worth sticking it out for.
I love the photo idea. Video would be great as well. My daughter is now 2.5 and we have tons of photos of her, but not a lot of video. I wish I’d taken more time to capture all those sweet baby sounds and silly faces she made, especially during the first few months of her life.
Cassie
Nursing is alot like learning to play the guitar. At first, your finger tips will bleed and the pain is excruciating, but after a few weeks, the calluses form and it’s smooth sailing.
In the meantime, Lanisoh is a marvelous product.
monica
she’s GORGEOUS! but i wanted to write to say a.) get a sling. i had clingon babies, and slings saved us all. and b.) nursing *does* hurt! your boobs are doing things they never did before. it won’t hurt forever though. as soon as your boobs get acclimated to their new job, they’ll be troopers! i nursed two kids for nearly two years, and both times i thought i wouldn’t make it past 2 weeks. i’m sure you already see how awesome it is to nourish your baby. soon it won’t hurt and it will be pure bliss! try lansinoh cream and cabbage leaves chilled in the fridge, but nothing will take the pain away except time. and it *will* be a blink of an eye! oh no! you’re a mommy blogger now and the whole interwebs are going to be at you with advice!!
Danette
Oh dear, you poor thing. I had the same problem with both of my girls and really wanted to throw in the burb cloth and just forget it. But, the girls got bigger and I got tougher and they got stronger and it all worked out and I am so so grateful that it did. Hang in there.
There is a great product that really worked for me, I have to go look it up and then I will send you the link.
Take care of yourself.
Your girl is beautiful and I adore her name.
Julie
Nicole – love the idea of the eames rocker for photos. Such a simple background will be great so the focus is just on your little darling. :-)
I’m sure you’ve gotten loads of tips on the breastfeeding issue, but I’ll ofer my two cents worth too. My son was a very difficult feeder. Turns out, his frenulum (sp?) – the little thingy that holds your tongue down to the bottom of your mouth – was too tight. As morbid as it sounds, he had to have his “clipped” at the age of 2 because it was affecting his speach. It most likely was affecting his feeding when he was a baby too. Just a thought . . . ;-)
Gillian
My daughter refused to have me put her down for 2 years! One day my husband told me to go out and enjoy a haircut. 4 hours later I returned to find concerned neighbours and distraught husband. She’d been screaming top note for the entire time! She sobbed a little, snuffled and then collapsed, exhausted.
On the plus side, she’s now a very confident and happy 7 year old. Just keep holding her – she needs reassurance that you are there for her!
As for lactation – you know what is best for you! People of either persuasion can be very assertive (strident?) but if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out – it’s not failure.
Ann-Marie in Chicago
Agree with all the supportive nursing hints. One more: drink a beer every time you sit down to nurse, even in the morning.
You do not have to finish the beer, (it can even be a NA) but, having one by your side will help you relax and that will help EVERYBODY in your little trio.
Miss Eleanor is so beautiful!
Although, she looks a wee bit uncomfortable in that chair.
Christina
Hiya,
I know have a lot of comments to read through, but I want to say DON’T give up on the breastfeeding yet.
The early days are painful; it will take a while to get used to and after that you will still have occasional bad days.
My worst was when my son had 2 teeth in and he bit me. I said ‘No!’ very crossly and put him down and left the room for a minute and came back… he never did it again.
Also in the early days I didn’t swap boobs enough so he wasn’t getting full, and after I fed him on both, he was happier. nipple cream for the chaffing will help.
As he got older, it was a LOT easier. your boobs mellow out and don’t get quite so chock-a-block full. I fed my son til he was almost two, which sounds quite old, but he was still a baby (I had weaned him on to solids at about 5 months, but still fed him breastmilk. (never, ever used formula)
I recommend getting a pump and letting your hubby occasionally do the night shift… for your sanity.
Lastly, I wanted to say that though it was hard, by feeding him all that time, he doesn’t have near the allergies we thought he would (from hubby’s side), and it is special.
When I decided to stop, I cried for ages as I missed that closeness. I look back and am so glad I did.
Good luck, I hope the pain eases up.
Christina
rachel in Cali.
I see that you have had many comments here regarding the nursing and if you read this far as to get to my comment, yipee! :0)
I just wanted to say that as long as you want to continue nursing, don’t give up. You can get passed this hard stuff. It does take a few weeks for you to “toughen” up (pun intended :0) so the pain subsides as well as for you both to just get the hang of it.
Also, even though she might be latching on right, as she sucks she might be slipping and sometimes not have as much in her mouth as she should. I feel kinda silly typing this in the comments so I won’t elaborate ;0)
Best of luck to you, it does get better.
rachel
mare
You have a beautiful baby girl. Congrats!
Breastfeeding is very rewarding & challenging at the same time. The only thing that has saved me is using lanolin after each feed and we are still going strong after 15 months. Good Luck!
Staisha
Keep up the good work, she’s beautiful. I had nursing problems with my Sadie (she’s 8 now.) It felt like glass was letting down instead of milk. My hubby was awesome and encouraged me to take on nursing at a time, sometime only one side at a time and then pumping. It all worked out. Stick in there it’s one of the best things for both of you.
Meghan
I’m a lurker :) I love your style and blog! Congrats on your sweet baby girl. I had to comment because I too struggled with nursing. You really have the right mentality to take it day by day, and whatever decision you decide will be the right one. Good luck!
Niki
Congratulations!
I too had pain when I first started to nurse. But if you stick with it, I promise the pain will go away. I can remember crying while nursing my daughter a year ago…it hurt so much! The nurses told me us fair-skinned girls always have a hard time with sore boobies. After a couple of months it didn’t hurt at all and although I just weaned my daughter three weeks ago, I could probably breastfeed a badger now. ;-)
Izzy
Your baby is beautiful and clearly well-nourished!
Don’t listen to those who tell you that breast-feeding “shouldn’t” hurt — who made up a rule like that anyway? Some babies suck really hard and some mommy’s have very sensitive breast tissue. (And some people feel the need to always tell mothers that they’re doing it “wrong…”) Try to stay with it but if you feel you must stop there’s no shame in it. You’ve already given her a great start!
Kathy
Congratulations on your beautiful baby. I totally agree with the posts about using a sling, it’s great. I loved holding my babies more than anything. The best sleep advice I ever got was from the book by Richard Ferber: Solve your child’s sleep problems. I didn’t follow the “Ferber Method” to a T, but the first few chapters taught me enough about normal sleep patterns to help my kids make their own. Best of luck… oh and also, I vote for the Eames chair. Great idea.
Patti
Mazel Tov on your blessing!
I too had a very painful breastfeeding experience the first go around. I was told that my son had a small mouth. I remember crying for the first five weeks and then like magic the pain just went away! :) With my second son it was maybe 10 days of pain… go figure. Each boy nursed for 12 months or so and I’m really happy they did. Now my youngest is about to turn 9 and I can honestly say the thing I miss the most about having a baby is the closeness of breastfeeding. I wish you much love and luck :) I think mommies need both!
Rebecca
Such a sweet looking baby. Congratulations.
I also had a horrible experience nursing at first (and by at first, I mean the first two months). I still want to smack anyone who says that it shouldn’t be painful if you’re doing it right. Now five months in, I’m so glad that I stuck with it. I’m sure that other people have said this, but it WILL get better. It will.
I don’t know if it’s an option for you, but if possible, try another lactation consultant (and maybe another if necessary). It wasn’t until the FIFTH lc that I found one that was able to give me actual helpful advice that reduced the pain. (The first four lcs basically told me that everything looked okay and maybe I just had sensitive nipples- hah!)
Tess
Ok, breast feeding hurts. I watched my poor sister breast feed and every time Cady “latched” on I was wincing in pain.
She’s still at it even though Cady is 1 and has several sharp little teeth!
Eventually Eleanor will want to be put down. But you have to remember that just like dogs, she can sense your mood and if you’re anxious – she’ll get anxious. Try to relax and have a calm demeanor when you put her down to rest.
Otherwise, just keep remembering that you’re the best mom she is going to have and how you do it is how it’s supposed to be done.
jill
A friend of mine took a picture every Monday morning of his daughter for the first year of her life. Said it was something to look forward to on an otherwise dreadful Monday. Since they weren’t pictures for the whole family or the blog, he took polaroids and then bound them together in a fat little book. So cute.
cvjn
I’m “de-lurking” too, to quote another commenter. Your home is beautiful and your daughter is precious. I have 2 little ones (5 and 2) and I hope you are able to stick with the nursing. Once you get the kinks out (and EVERYONE has kinks!), it is very rewarding and relaxing.
When I read about how much Eleanor liked to be held, I wondered if you have a sling. If you don’t, you should try one. They take a bit of practice to get used to, but you can hold your baby and have your hands free. It is wonderful beyond words. I wanted to hold mine all the time anyway, and the sling was so wonderful because it kept both of us happy. (Sling Tip: wear it around so that it smells like you before putting baby in it.)
Best of luck with your glorious new life!
Tove
Put some ice on your nipple before you nurse her. That and lanolin made it tolerable for me until I got toughened up. Hang in there!
JDzJane
I’ve had three children and unfortunately I was only able to nurse my third child – which was funny b/c he was preemie and was tongue tied and he latched on right away. I was VERY inexperienced and none of the nurses or LC could help me. My BFF was the only one who (for whatever reason) was the only one who offered any help that worked. And it was horribly painful for the first month or two. But I hung in there. I learned that the pain was only temporary. I nursed until my son was 8 months old and I wish I wouldn’t have quit so soon, but it was definately worth the “pain”. Hang in there and you’ll get used to it. And I found lanolin to be a huge help too. Good Luck and Congrats on your beautiful Blessing. Enjoy her – they grow up waaaaaay to fast.
JLR
Nipple shields. Or pump and bottle feed – I rented a pump from a hospital – pumping is less painful and lets you heal a little bit between breastfeedings.
Remember, nothing is wrong with stopping and moving to formula – if it’s all about what works for you and your baby.
Alicia
What a beautiful baby! Such a cutie.
I love your idea for the photo project—that’ll be a keepsake for sure.
Congratulations!
Sami Jemnkins
Not sure if anyone mentioned this yet – but what helped me breastfeed was having a breast pump. My LC suggested that I use the pump to give myself some extra recovery time — and at three weeks, we didn’t have to worry about “nipple confusion” — (which my LC said studies have shown to be a myth). In my case she was right. Pumping for a day or two allowed me to recover enough to reduce the pain and there was no problem with the baby taking the bottle for a few feedings, then returning to the breast.
Those Almeda gel pad also were a huge help — I got mine from Amazon. If you don’t have any, put a cup of very cold water into a clean diaper place it over your chest (also works with hot water for a quick heating pad).
Congratulations on a beautiful baby.
Yolande
I didn’t read the above comments, but it took about 3 months to get used to the latching on. Every time my daughter would latch on, I would curl my toes in pain. Many times I wanted to quit, but I persisted, and glad I did. This was for my 2nd daughter. For my first child, I pumped for a year at least 5x a day!!!! This is why for my 2nd, I kept at it- to avoid the 1-year-pump-a-thon.
Meg
She’s beautiful and the rocker photo is perfect of course. Wouldn’t expect nothing but the best from you.
Don’t kid yourself, nursing is painful – but it goes away. I remember pounding the bed everytime my first born latched on for a few weeks and he wanted to nurse all the time. I kept at it because it IS worth it. And it DOES get better. I promise! Remember that you are both new at this and it can take a lot of practice. Knowing that your amazing body can nourish such a sweet soul like nothng else could is comforting. You are very wise to say that you are taking it one day at a time.
Aunt Jane
I applaude you for persevering with breast feeding. Way back when Sara was born (1971) I had to fight off the nurses in the hospital who wanted to give me shots to dry up my milk. Sara was never that enthralled about nursing and weaned herself at 10 months. Katie was a different story. She loved it and I finally weaned her at 14 months.
Your photo idea is great! I would periodically write “letters” to my baby girls detailing their likes and their accomplishments. I also made a special book for each of them when they turned 3. They treasure them now.
meghan
first time writer. long time reader.
just wanted to let you know i am right there with you !!! i am a self-employed designer (in canada) and was due with my first child a day before you. David was born on the 18th of april and it’s been the most amazing and most overwhelming month.
i too have been struggling with breastfeeding. i am determined to stick with it but have had to top-up feedings with supplements because he has not been gaining weight fast enough. each day I go back and forth with what to do and it has been a painful challenge both mentally and physically but i am hoping it gets easier.
eleanor is beautiful. good luck with every day.
meghan
Shannon
I had a really hard time nursing with my first. I thought we’d never get the hand of it and wanted to quit. I stuck with it though and was so glad. i nursed him for 20 months. I’m nursing my one year old as I type this.
Tune in to all those cheerleaders around you and look at that gorgeous babe. You two can do it.
Congratulations and hang in there. it will get easier.
joyce
Yup…I’ll go along with the other moms..it’s painful for the first 6 weeks even if you are doing it “right.” It was for me (I nursed 3) and for every honest mom I know. I think people do a disservice to nursing mothers when they say it won’t hurt if you are doing it correctly…I know quite a few moms who gave up because they thought they couldn’t get it (it still hurt)…when all they really needed was the magic of time.
Lisa
Just coming out of lurking to say breastfeeding *is* painful. It took 6 weeks before it felt comfortable for me to nurse my daughter. I’m so glad I stuck it out – I was taking it a day at a time and one day, I just realized that it didn’t hurt any more. Your daughter is beautiful. Congratulations!
Sarah
Congrats on your new baby–she is adorable! And lucky you, you get to shower in (relative) peace! I have 3 little ones and still have a hard time showering without someone barging in! Breastfeeding can be frustrating, but your baby looks quite healthy and if she is growing and sleeping allright, then everything should be fine in the nursing department. And breastfeeding does hurt for a while and that is normal. But the pain does go away and you’ll be glad you stuck with it, it is the best thing for your baby and it burns 500 calories a day for you!
Gia
I think your design blog just tried into a mommy blog.
The comments are great–so supportive and helpful. I, mom of a 3 year old and an 8 month old, picked up some tips.
And I’ll add to the chorus of “Yes, breastfeeding hurts.” So much of motherhood is that way: lovely and ouchy. I think it’s nature’s way of helping women acquire the tools to be good moms: strength, a loving heart, and the ability to do things that make mere mortals faint.
With my oldest, each time he latched on, I’d curl my toes to the point of cramping and hold my breath so I wouldn’t yelp. A wave of pain would wash over me (kind of like being in labor). After 10 or 15 seconds, I’d exhale, uncurl my toes, and reach for a magazine. Eventually, the level of pain diminished and disappeared. And just like labor, I remember that it hurt but it’s all a foggy blur.
My advice:
1. Hang in there. You’re normal.
2. Find a La Leche League meeting. Even if you go once in a while, you’ll have a phone list of LLL leaders to call for expert advice. This will not be your only breastfeeding challenge.
Remember, this is fun, even the awful parts.
Danielle
I love your blog. I just read about your NURSING issues and had to comment. I had the hardest most stressful time nursing my son who is now two. It was so painful and difficult. I have fingernail marks still in my coffee table from digging into it while enduring the nursing pain! All of the lactation specialist said I was doing it wrong b/c of the pain but once I saw all of them they said “oh you are doing it right.” So annoying. Anyway LONG story short, I kept going at it and eventually it really got way easier after a few months.I think when they are so small it is difficult to latch. Lessons learned… throw out the lactation books because they stressed me out and make you feel that you have ruined your babies whole life if u don’t nurse (so not true), don’t nurse more than 25 mins on each side, it gets A LOT easier and if your baby spits up blood- it is probably your blood. Kind of gross. Keep at it if you feel strongly about it, but don’t do it if it is making life miserable. I ended up nursing until my son was 14 months. It was a shocker and one of my best accomplishments!
Valerie from Studio Rose Flash
hey Nicole,
You have great advices here! My son is 2 weeks old, so I’m also in my debut as the official milk supplier in my family :) So yeah, it hurts. The first times where plain frustration for me (it’s not like my son and myself knew what we where doing!), and also, I was rushed to nurse properly at the hospital, my son was doing hypoglycemia and well, I was out of a C-section, so it all together failed!
It’s getting better though, only the first 5 seconds are painful now. Lanolin ointments definitely help me, I put it on once a day.
I wish you lots and lots of joy with your family :)
creative*type
yay! she’s gorgeous. i love the photo idea and glad you’re adjusting well.
jja
“She sleeps pretty well at night, waking to eat every few hours but falling back asleep right away. When she does wake for the day, she’s usually in a pretty good mood and I can set her in a bouncy seat while I take a shower, so we have a good little routine starting.”
Wow I want a baby like that! She is so cute and I ams ure she will adore photos you plan to make, once when she will be grown up, she can have such a great memories with those pictures :-)
Mixing Bowl Mama
Your girl is so beautiful…and I love the idea of taking her photo in the rocker. I have a friend who did something similar and she put a shirt on her child with a number that represented the age of her at each photo…2 months had a 2 on the t-shirt, 3 months had a 3 etc, so she would now exactly what age she was in each photo…it was cute!
Julie
Hi Nicole,
First of all, I just wanted to say that I love your blog. I check it almost every day, but this is my first post.
I didn’t read through the 170+ other comments to see if others already made these suggestions, but as the mother of two (a 3yo and a 1yo) I’ve been where you are right now and thought I’d offer a few things that were helpful to me:
1. Nursing – it hurts at first. Don’t let anyone tell you it shouldn’t. But, it shouldn’t hurt so bad you cry, and the high palette might be the explanation. If your health insurance covers it, I highly recommend looking around for an outpatient lactation consultant. We have a great one in the Boston area that all my friends and I have used. You might have someone similar near you? Sometimes you have to try more than one to find a good fit.
2. Sleeping on you – I had this same problem with my first daughter, and because I was a first-time parent and sleep deprived, I let her sleep on me. Which was great at first, until she got bigger and/or I needed to do something else while she slept. I highly recommend the Miracle Blanket. It it awesome! And you should be able to hold her wrapped in it until she falls asleep, and then put her down and have some time to yourself! (www.miracleblanket.com)
3. I saw someone else suggested this already too…but I highly recommend a sign posted in the pics with at least Eleanor’s age on it (“I’m 1 month old today”). It’s so fun to look back at when they’re older.
Good luck!
Heidi
I love the picture idea (and your blog). I think I am going to copy you, too bad by new little one is almost 3 months. I think I am going to lay her on our Eames rocker today!
Hang in there with the nursing, my baby girl is sitting here nursing right now. It is definitely not as easy as they say. If you are having pain at the beginning of nursing you could also try pumping for a couple of minutes first. Then your milk will have started to let down so the baby gets milk right away. The worst part of nursing for me was the 6 week and 3 month growth spurt (with my first baby). I thought about giving up lots of time but made it for 10 months with my son.
I also recommend the baby wearing. We have a sling for quick trips out and a moby wrap for longer wearing periods. The moby wrap keeps the baby closer and tighter which makes it easier to move around. It takes a little practice but once you get the hang of it works really well.
Good luck!
justine
We got our son an Eames rocker for his 1st b day and photgraph him every year in it! Hang in there with breast feeding, I thought it was way harder than labor with all my 3 kids
Alicia
Eleanor is the sweetest thing!
I can only encourage you in taking hundreds and thousands of pictures of your little girl!
Both my Mom and Dad took pictures of me and my brothers at every opportunity. These days I’m making a childhood-pix-collage of the three of us for my brother’s b-day. It’s so much fun looking through that old stuff and I’m sure my brother will love the present.
So, what I’m trying to say is: That idea of yours is great!
And since you’re such a great photographer you should print these pictures out. Digital photography sometimes keeps us from taking the time to really look and enjoy the photos we took!
Greetings from Germany!
kristenv
Oh, hang in there with the nursing thing! It took me around 2 months to get the hang of it (with twins if you can imagine) but once we found our groove, it was the ultimate fast food with no bottles to clean or pack! But yeah, it took some time. So enjoying your pictures!
Natalie
Oh I forgot to mention: have you heard of the “Slumber Bear”? My cousin’s baby was having a terrible time sleeping, so I bought her one of these bears in hopes that it would lull her to sleep. Inside the bear is a little audio box that plays “inside the womb” heartbeat sounds whenever the baby starts moving around. My cousin took the device out of the bear and strapped it to the crib. She said that the audio box sounds lull the baby back to sleep and since they beganusing it, the baby has been sleeping soundly through the night!
Here is a link to the Slumber Bear at Target:
http://www.target.com/dp/B0006M1B0K/sr=1-1/qid=1242909773/ref=sr_fkmr_txt_1_1/180-7485997-3332527?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=0&index=target&rh=k%3Asleepytime%20bear&page=1
I hope it helps :)
Natalie
She is just precious!! And I love the yellow onesy – what a hilarious and adorable saying! Congrats again on your adorable little girl :)
Agnes
Hang in there my dear! Nursing can be so tough at first, but it DOES get better. I am sure all this advice has been given by your lactation nurse but just feed her regularly so you don’t get engorged and use nipple shields and lanolin and before you know it, your little sweetheart will be nursing like a champ and you won’t even feel it! Thanks for sharing the pictures of her with us! xoxox Stay hydrated and rest up new Mama!
Martha
I can’t relate to the Mommy issues but I vote for the Eames rocker!
Bretagne ferienhäuser
Really good picture you got here. I really love it. It really makes me smile while looking at it. It feels like I am looking to an innocent angel.
Elizabeth
I’m due with our first at the end of June and have been reading up on Attachment Parenting by Dr. Sears. His theory on babies wanting to be held all of the time is that they go from the womb, where they’re “held” all of the time, to the outside world where they’re not. He surmises that they need to make a slow transition into this and highly recommends baby wearing with a sling or wrap. We’re going to try it out to see how it works.
Charla @ For the Sake of Time
The pictures are just precious. Do the best you can with the breast feeding and then don’t beat yourself up over it. That is not the deciding factor as to whether or not you are a good mother. I know many wonderful mothers who just couldn’t do it. Also, I love the rocker idea. She looks very content there.
Charla
samarahuel
As far as breastfeeding goes, I am having a baby in September, and my mom, who birthed and breastfed 5 babies, has already been giving me advice. You say it shouldn’t hurt, but my mom (and some books I’ve read) said that it will hurt for the first 6 weeks or so and that is normal. You just have to be tough and make it through. She also said to resist the urge to pump even if you’re feeling full, because emptying the breast just triggers it to produce more milk. Let the baby set the schedule, she says. I plan on feeding from the breast exclusively, if I can, because if you pump and feed the baby breast milk from a bottle, even though they are getting more nutrients than they would from formula, the artificial nipple will just make it harder for them to learn how to nurse on a breast properly, because they are two completely different ways of sucking. Milk will flow faster from a bottle too, which will make the baby frustrated at the breast when they have to work a little harder.
Sorry if that was TMI or just annoying coming from someone who has never had a baby or nursed. I’m sure I will be coming back here for encouragement myself in a few months! Eleanor is so cute; I’m glad you have the time to enjoy her.
Bethany
I say use the eames rocker. It sorta resembles a belly…
Breast feeding is difficult for most I’d say. We just don’t talk about it much – thankfully that’s changing.
If you have any issues with over-supply please message me. I found a natural cure through a random nurse. I couldn’t find help anywhere else… it totally saved my life! (or at least our breastfeeding partnership!)
KellyA
I am delurking to say that I completely understand about the nursing. Pumping is always good, and the nipple shields are great. We used to feed my son (now 9.5 years old) with a formula tube taped to our pinky fingers. It does get easier, but don’t beat yourself up about it. You are obliviously a great mom. Good luck to you.
Jo
Nicole you are so much like I was with my first child! Keep up the effort – feeding is difficult for at least the first month but well worth it eventually.
Photo project sounds great!
Heather
So adorable! Hang in there with the nursing if you can. It was really painful for me during the first 3-4 weeks and it took a full 8 weeks before it started to get easier in general. I just weaned my son at 13 months, and it was hard work but so worth it! I also did a similar photo project, and I love those photos so much! Not only can you see how he grew, but you can really see his emerging personality with each monthly photo. Have fun and enjoy!
Alexis
I also used the nipple shields until my daughter (91/2 months) was about 5 months. I WAS IN TEARS every time she nursed and one of my very best friends told me to just give it a month and it will get better… not to give up. It got better after about 2 :) But I am still nursing her today and it seems to be the best thing for her. She is a healthy happy baby and the bonding experience is amazing. My supply is starting to dwindle and I think she is weaning herself but Just the sound of the word “formula” freaks me out… they should have called it “familk” or something not so scientific sounding.
We have one of those medicine balls, and I would sit on it with Adella and gently bounce her back to sleep, it was the only thing that worked and I highly recommend them, you get a little work out in as well.
Christina
My baby is five months old and I am sorry to say that he still wakes up if you put him down when he is asleep! However, when he was a bit older than three weeks, he got better and being put in his cot sleepy and falling asleep on his own, so I would say hang in there! I hope you don’t mind all the advice! I’m sure lots of other comments have said this, but it does hurt! I’m still breastfeeding now, but at first my nipple were sooooo sore and then he started to want a feed every hour and I was ready to quit! Luckily I got a cream for my nipples, a dummy for the baby and my nipples recovered! Don’t feel quilty if you do stop. The nurses told me that any amount of breast feeding is better than none. She’s your baby. Regardless of all the advice in the world, you need to do what is right for the both of you. Happy mum equals happy baby!
PS. I like the chair idea too. :)
casapinka
Congrats!!!! I found nursing so painful and difficult both times. The first time I made it to 3 months and felt terribly guilty for giving up. The second time, perhaps two months but less guilt. We all just doing our best and you are doing great. What a beautiful little angel you have.
Noelle Buttry
It does hurt! A lot! I was never so happy as when, at 6 weeks, my doctor looked at me and said, “Why don’t you quit? It won’t hurt her at all.” I felt like I had been freed! Good luck with all of it, whether you persist or quit. She is certainly a beautiful little baby!
allison
NIPPLE SHIELDS!!! They are a MUST if it’s painful for the latching and nursing. I believe Medela makes them, and they look strangely like clear pasties :) They will get you through until she grows into her high palate. I totally understand your pain, and I have yet to forget the pain I had before the shields…two years later, I say this!! Seriously, life, er, nipple saver! Good luck and congrats! She’s gorgeous!!
kate
i love the idea of the Eames chair photos…you can continue once she sits up…all the way until you shoot a photo of her holding her baby!! how cool would that be?
breast feeding: i hear you sista. it was super hard for me too. but i was determined to stick with it. get some good cream and remember – this is both of your first times doing this – and there is a learning curve. but once you get past it (and really -those days are distant memories now) – it’s SUCH a beautiful thing on so many levels. my son is 14 mo old and though he only nurses about 3-4 times a day now – they are some of my most precious times with him(sometimes sweet, sometimes goofy, sometimes sleepy, sometimes wide awake…and sometimes i read US weekly – ha!).
warmest wishes for it to get better soon. i’d say it took 4-6 weeks for me….
Carrie
I had a similar experience when we first started breastfeeding because I had flat nipples (plus new mamas are using them–for their intended purpose anyway–for the first time ever!)… after a few weeks the pain subsided and 15 months later we’re still breastfeeding up a storm.
I am so glad the transition has been smooth for you. That really is amazing!
Hope the breastfeeding gets easier and easier…
Desiree Fawn
Beautiful! One thing that REALLY helped my breastfeeding career was the Jack Newman medicated nipple cream. It’s worth it’s weight in gold and saved me from quitting when I was in so much pain I was in tears.
:)
I hope all goes well and that feeding soon becomes a breeze — it took us about 3 months to get REALLY good at it :)
Laura
Another lurker de-lurking to say that Eleanor is gorgeous. Nursing is painful at the start. It took me about 6 weeks to be comfortable. After that it was easy-peasy and I nursed my first son for 20 months and my second for 15. Please know that it will get easier and non-painful.
AussieMum
She is just gorgeous. Feeding was the hardest part for me.
Erin
First, good for you for sticking with nursing despite the difficulties. It does get better. Second, darling picture of Eleanor in the rocker. Just one little bit of food for thought (that comes from the mom of a VERY busy almost 11 month old). I do every month pics with my son and I take them with an object. I have found that once he became mobile, it is darn near impossible to get him to sit still in a chair long enough to get his picture as the first thing he wants to do once I set him down is take a nose dive off of the seat. Just a little something to consider before choosing the Eames rocker for your location (although she does look stinking adorable in it right now). :o)
luuvely
hey nicole…she is a SUPER DUPER CUTIE! the eames chair is a wonderful idea…ive taken monthly pictures of my son since birth..and he is now 5…some months when i look back..he doesn’t look like has changed a bit and then all of a sudden ill look at a picture and wonder where all the time went!..it will be a wonderful project..mostly for you! lol…when she is about 4 years old and saying “i can do it myself” you’ll want her back in baby form! lol
about the breastfeeding..i TOTALLY agree with the others when they said lanolin…i honestly didn’t want to “toughen” my nipples (wow..that sounded really crazy lol)..but another commenter said that..i want it to be a natural progression…the lanolin really helped…my son never ever minded the taste of it..and omg was it soothing..like you and the others i was in pain for the first few weeks only because “he wasn’t doing it correctly” i was told that by one of my lactation specialist…but once he latched on..it was a dream…he was and still is my perfect little blessing!
and btw…holding her…KEEP HOLDING HER…i probably held my son from sun up to sun down! i got a LOT of lip service from my mother and sisters about it…but it never stopped me..and besides…who wants a crying baby??! i didn’t…he rarely cried…and it made our bonding time soo much sweeter :)
that was super lengthy..lol sorry…
Gwen
ohhhhhh sweetie,
How lucky you are to be relishing this special time with your very first baby. I have to admit that I am a bit jealous since my babies are 16 and almost 19 yrs. old!. People would tell me that this time would go by fast but I didn’t believe it. It really really does. I love the photo of Eleanor on your Eames rocker. You have already gotten a lot of valuable advice so I’ll just simply say Enjoy. Looking back on this time someday will make you realize how precious it is!
Gwen
Shaunna
You have such a lovely daughter :)
Get in as many snuggles as you can! My little girl (9 months) doesn’t like to be held to fall asleep any longer and I miss those close, quiet snuggly moments dearly! I remember wishing I could “get things done” when she was sleeping ON me in those early weeks, but now I’m glad I let the chores pile up and didn’t bother with a shower EVERY day simply for the snuggles! SO worth it!
I also remember those early weeks of nursing that were accompanied by sweat, blood and tears … but DO try to stick with it – it gets SO much easier in just a short time. Trust yourself and your body – you were MADE for this! There are a lot of people rooting for you (excuse the pun!) and just by the # of comments on this one post, a lot of great advice to sift through!
What saved me in those early weeks:
* APNO Cream (All Purpose Nipple Ointment) Google it. Then get it prescribed. It’s safe and it was AMAZING. I used it for one week and never needed it again – but it got me through the worst part of my nipples “toughening up”.
* A Breastfeeding-specific Mom’s group. La Leche League or other local nursing groups. I had a “support mom” through my local group and I had her home # and could call her whenever I had questions or concerns. Like when we were dealing with a nasty bout of thrush; when my daughter didn’t poop for 10 days (I didn’t know that could be NORMAL for breastfed babies!?!?); etc. etc. etc.
Sometimes just hearing that you’re doing something RIGHT helps and sometimes just being able to TELL someone you’re doing something right helps! You’re a new, nursing mom. Already a super-mom, whether you feel like one or not :)
Blessings and may the sweet moments and sound sleep continue!
kim de montreal
Nicole! You are amazing, thanks for posting this. All I’m going to say is; do not give up breastfeeding. It is absolute hell for the first month, each and every feeding is absolute leg kicking, toe wiggling torture! but when it stops hurting it’s amazing and it WILL stop hurting. My neighbor who had 4 kids told me “if you want to, you can” and that’s what kept me going.
For the monthly photos; you need to put her age in the photo somehow, because you’ll get confused when you have other kids and you look back. You can make a pretty sign for her to hold every month that says how many months she is.
Congratulations again!!!
Sara
I did the photo project with my son. I put in a chair with a stuffed bear next to him. It was so neat to see how he grew every month.
Miss B
You are so creative, of course that’s an amazing photo project, she is lucky that you are so thoughtful. I can not believe it has been 3 weeks already…
Estelle
…Oh and…my vote is for the Eames chair too. ;)
Estelle
Nursing was SO hard for me with my first and I thought about quitting everyday. Things got easier and with my second baby I knew the hardest time would pass. But it is painful. All remember is curling my toes so tight and gritting my teeth every time my son would latch on. It does get easier. And you’ll be so glad (for so many reasons) you stuck to it. Thanks for sharing. I love your blog.
Yvonne
Must be tired, my spelling stinks tonight.
Yvonne
Oh she’s just so sweet. Ha to sahre the phote with my hubby(a proud grampa)who was sitting here watching the ballgame. He said “aw, she’s pretty”. Enjoy this quiet peaceful time, her cries will grow louder, but your love for her will grow stronger each day as she does. This time with her is so special that you will always cherish it. Take LOTS of pictures and video.
love,
Vonnie
Diana
Oh my gosh, she is absolutely beautiful! You two definitely “made something lovely.” :o)
Jennae @ Green Your Decor
She looks really happy and content. But I feel your pain, both from the feeding and from not putting her down. My daughter absolutely refused to sleep anywhere but my or my husband’s chest until she was about 3 months old. It was sweet, and I loved the closeness, but it was really tiring. As for breastfeeding, I lasted exactly 3 days because I couldn’t take the pain, so I commend you for continuing through it.
And like so many others, I vote for the Eames chair. You won’t misplace it, and it’s likely to be in the family until Eleanor grows up, and probably longer :)
Jenny
I love the Eames chair idea! I wish I had done something similar. I have an 11 month old (turns 1 in about 3 weeks) and sometimes I forget how she looked/smelled, etc as a tiny baby – she’s turning into such a little girl now. Just enjoy every day. And don’t stress about the breastfeeding, if it works it works, if it doesn’t it doesn’t. Too many people put too much stress on new moms and it just isn’t fair. Sounds like I was in the minority as I had no issues except for a blocked milk duct one time – my kid was a champ eater (which is also why I stopped breastfeeding when she was 6 months – we’ll just say my husband always refered to our daughter as a “violent eater” – which was fine until the teeth came in – OUCH).
Anyway, she is beautiful and remember everyone has and opinion, but do what feels right for you and your family!
Becky @ Farmgirl Paints
Sounds like you are doing everything right. Don’t be afraid to let her fuss. My doctor always told me that a baby never died from crying too much. That always made me feel a little better. I always tried to put mine to sleep, when they were a little older of course, awake. It seemed to help them figure out how to go back to sleep on their own. She’s just a doll baby!
Brittanie
I had absolutely painful experience with breastfeeding, so I happily turned to using a Medela pump and then feeding my son the milk out of a bottle. I still felt like I was giving him what his little body needed, minus the pain on my end. Much easier to keep track of the amounts too. You’re doing wonderfully, and you have a gorgeous little girl. Thank you for the constant inspiration you are, as an amazingly creative lady and a spunky mom!
Laura
Oh, she is gorgeous. I miss those tiny little baby days.
Your breastfeeding experience thus far sounds like mine. What worked for me: 1) Nipple shield when the pain was too much – used on and off for about 4-5 weeks; 2) Gel pads; 3) Having the LC validate that I was doing it “right” and that baby would grow into it (which she did around 5-6 weeks); 4) Knowing I would still be a great mom whenever I decided to switch to bottles. Worked for 13 months!
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