Me My Life Style

On Wearing Sequins

Under the “Just Plain Fun” section of my Lovely Life List is this item: Wear a sequined dress to a party. (Because doesn’t it sound like just plain fun?) It seems like the kind of thing you could cross off with a trip to the mall and a date night, except there’s more to it than that.

This post started a few days ago as a fun, frivolous post with five or six sequined dresses. There would have been a sentence or two at the top, an image with all of the options, then numbered links. My favorite dress of the bunch was this one, but at $300 I wouldn’t have bought it. Today, I noticed that it had been marked down by nearly half, putting it squarely in the price range I was comfortable with. Yet I hesitated.

So then I thought, hey, instead of showing a bunch of pretty dresses today, why not expose some insecurities instead?

See, I’m not going to go super cheap on the dress because the really inexpensive dresses tend to be sized for juniors. I’m smaller than I used to be, but I’m certainly not juniors sized (or shaped). I figured I’d probably go for something in the $150 range, but if I’m going to spend that on a dress, it needs to be for something that I’ll get more than one wear out of. I’ve had it in my head that I would hold off on buying pricier clothes until I’m at a settled weight… but I am. Just not at the one I wanted to be at.

I was a size 12 when I got married, eight years ago. I was a 14 before I got pregnant with Eleanor in 2007, and a size 18 (and over two hundred pounds) after I had her. I lost weight and went back down to a 12, then promptly got pregnant again in 2010 with August. Back up to a 16. Now I’m down to a size 10 and have been for a while. I should be happy with that, because it took a lot of work and discipline, but to be totally honest, I had hoped to get down to a size 8 before reinvesting in a new wardrobe.

A size 8, thin to some, chubby to others, feels like a healthy, attainable goal. And one that I’ve failed to reach.

There is no end to the affirmations I could invoke to boost my esteem, but I don’t hate, or even particularly dislike my body. I am slightly overweight though, and it’s because I don’t eat well. I’ve been at roughly the same weight for about a year now. Running and roller derby (and laying off the peanut butter) did help me go from a size 12 down to a 10, but I feel stuck. Any weight loss I experience moving forward, if at all, will be gradual.

XO Sequins

Funny how we set limits for ourselves, even for something as silly as whether or not one can buy a fun new dress. I’ve wanted to be that girl in sequins for years. The one who is effortlessly confident and who feels comfortable enough with herself to wear garment that not only shows her figure, but flaunts it. I was waiting to buy the pretty dress I’d always wanted until I was at an arbitrary size, but perhaps it’s time to stop waiting.

I’m teaching an online class next week for Alt Summit, all about what to wear to the event. If you’ve been, or even if you’ve only seen photos in recaps, you know it’s a pretty stylish crowd. The last night of the conference features a dozen mini parties, and attendees flit about between them all. It’s a sea of glitter, silk, and yes, sequins. I don’t know yet which form of sparkle and shine I’ll be sporting, but I did order a dress.

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  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    I struggled with the same thing for many years, although not because of pregnancy. Rather a stressful job and bad habits. BUT, I had a realization one day: women feel sadness and self-loathing over this stuff when they are SO much more than a number. Here’s how I wrote it on my blog: “Sadness? That is for when people die. Or when you’re sick. Or when you break up with someone. Or when you’re struggling with your job. Or when your favorite show is cancelled. Sadness is not an emotion you should equate with looking in the mirror.”

    Anyway, I get you and it’s all chronicled here in one of the scariest things I have ever done… told the Internet exactly how much I weighed:

    Be happy. Love your body. Love yourself. Always know: it’s a journey not a destination.

    • Reply
      December 6, 2012 at 3:43 pm

      Wow, Liz, that was a powerful blog post. Congrats to you! Also, what an amazing quote, I know a few people I’d like to send that to, however, I don’t think they’re quite there yet to hear it.

  • Reply
    Laura Parke
    December 4, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    Nicole, I admire your honesty and bravery to share such details on an intimate topic. go you!!

  • Reply
    melinda KE
    December 4, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Nicole, good for you for ordering that sequined dress! This was a great post and I’m so happy you decided to post it instead of just listing the dresses and links. I’m guilty of doing the same thing. I put on twenty pounds about two years ago, a combination of working a full-time and part-time job, (both desk jobs) and being put on a certain medication. I noticed with the weight gain I’ve stopped dressing up and it seems like every time I see a pretty dress that I want to buy I tell myself to wait until I’ve lost the weight. Well, after two years of trying to lose the weight you could say that I’m feeling a bit stuck! For what it’s worth, I think you always look fabulous so I’m sure you’re going to rock that sequined dress!

    • Reply
      Making it Lovely
      December 5, 2012 at 12:17 pm

      Thanks. I’m glad I did post this, though it would have been much easier to just post the dresses with links.

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Oh Nicole, this post brought tears to my eyes. When I saw the title, I got all excited because I knew you were going to talk about the Alt Class, which I’m so excited to take. You are so beautiful, you look incredible, and you can rock any dress with sequins! Seriously, size is so relative these days. I can wear a small on top, but my larger thighs and rear require a much larger size, anywhere from an 8-12, depending on where I’m shopping and who makes it. I quit worrying about the number and just go for what looks good on me. You always look fabulous, and you are teaching a class on how to dress, so if that’s not confirmation, I don’t know what is. Thank you for revealing this insecurity, because we’ve all been there.

    • Reply
      Making it Lovely
      December 5, 2012 at 2:34 pm

      I’m smaller on top too, so I might wear an 8 on the top and a 12 on the bottom, depending on the brand. I’ll buy what looks good, regardless of size, but I still had a goal size in mind as a goal.

      (And thanks. I’ll see you in class!)

  • Reply
    Jennifer Rodgers
    December 4, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    Thank you for putting this out there. I struggle with these issues as well and am similarly sized: size 12 at marriage, size 14 after baby #1, size 16 after baby #2. I’ve since lost 22lbs. and am back to a size 14. But I still struggle…with the self loathing, hiding myself in clothing and not feeling comfortable in my own skin/clothes. I wonder how to find peace with myself at 5’3″ 160lbs. For some reason, this continues to elude me.

    • Reply
      Making it Lovely
      December 5, 2012 at 2:54 pm

      I’m the same weight right now too, just two inches taller. I feel good, but I’d hoped to be a little smaller by now.

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 5:49 pm

    Thank you so being so candid and GOOD FOR you-wear that dress with pride!

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    And I was just thinking (i’ve followed your blog for a few years) how awesome you look and how I would love to look your size and be able to wear what you do and look that good. I’m a 14. You are beautiful and look so healthy.

  • Reply
    Megan @ Two Live Colorfully
    December 4, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    This is a great post! It’s really nice to see honesty from bloggers that I really look up to. I’ve been in a constant battle with my weight since high school, so even though it’s a personal thing for everyone, it’s kind of nice to know that someone out there is in it with me!

    Thank you for sharing Nicole!!!

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    1. I really love it when you have emotional blogs (not that I love it when you are sad).
    2. Life is hard. Being a woman is hard. Being a mother is hard. Having to deal with everything that is handed to you is hard. The self imposed (socially imposed?) numbers based goal weights suck. I’m with you. I lost 30 lbs this year…now its only 20. I don’t know if I should buy clothes, I don’t know if I should get rid of too big clothes. I get down on myself about gaining some weight back, thinking if I hadn’t fallen off the wagon, I’d be a size 6 by now, as I shove chips in my face. But when I get down like that, I think “Hey, I’m still in a better place then I was last January, so screw it. I’ll try to start again and be better but I deserve to feel proud of myself.” So do you.

    • Reply
      Making it Lovely
      December 5, 2012 at 5:11 pm

      “Not that I love it when you are sad.”
      Ha, that made me chuckle. I’ll try to be more angsty then, OK?

      I’d be at my goal by now too, if only I tried harder. Was more disciplined. Ate better. Worked out more. Was better at running. Etc, etc. It’s so hard to not think like that. We should be proud of what we’ve done though, you’re right.

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    Loved this post Nicole, thanks for sharing. I’m in the same boat, I’ve lost a lot of weight since having my first child in Feb 2011 but haven’t quite been able to reach my ideal weight but in the last couple of weeks I’ve been slowly deciding to just be happy with myself as I am, thanks for pushing me further along the way. :)

    PS you don’t have to give up peanut butter, just the nasty kinds, buy organic peanut butter with only peanuts and salt on the ingredient list (not palm oil, it’s really fattening), it’s more expensive but oh so worth it. – It’s also full of good fat, fat that helps you burn the bad fat. I have it occasionally with apple or banana slices for a snack or dessert, yummi!

    PPS the same goes for organic almond butter (with only almonds and salt).

    You can even make them yourself if you have a powerful food processor – OK, that’s all!

  • Reply
    jackie jade
    December 4, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    So brave of your to share your story here! We have all struggled with our weight and/or looks in one way or another and there is always that pressure that we aren’t “done.” I’m so happy you ordered the dress and you will be fabulous in it!!

  • Reply
    Maria @ Inspiration Affirmation
    December 4, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    I’m so glad you ordered the dress. First of all, I think you look so beautiful. But at the same time, I know what it’s like to have people tell you that and not feel totally confident in your own size, shape, etc. When it came to my weight, my mom always told me that it is important to dress for the body we have now, even if we want to be smaller or lose weight. It’s part of that feeling-good process, you know? You have done an incredible thing for yourself — you have gotten healthy. It’s time to celebrate that, and this time, that means wearing a little sparkle. Thanks so much for sharing this with us.

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 8:28 pm

    sigh… i know…. i know exactly how you feel. i was a 6, then i ballooned up to a 12 when i was pregnant and now i am floating around a 14/16 TWO YEARS after the birth of my son. yes, i ate everything in sight. god, i still do. i gained ALL my pregnancy weight in the first THREE months of my preganancy and only lost 25-30 lbs after he was born. now i go up and down, +10, -10 every month or so. my husband’s xmas office party is rapidly approaching next weekend and i have NO desire to go and no dress to speak of. i am so uncomfortable in my own skin. the thought of going shopping for a dress brings me to tears.

    • Reply
      Making it Lovely
      December 5, 2012 at 4:55 pm

      I gained 13 pounds in one month when I was pregnant with August. I’m not sure how the hell I accomplished that.

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    love it when you open up to us. you are a gem.

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    You’ll rock those sequins, no matter what size you are. Thank you for posting this.

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    With all my weight loss and body image struggles, I can say 2 things with major confidence:
    1. it’s about dressing for the body that you have, not the body that you want to have. Me squeezing into the jeans that I wanted to fit into for all those years? BIG MISTAKE. If you get a faboosh sequin dress that’s a 10 or a 16, who the heck cares what size it is? Cut out the tag. Plus, sizes are so wonky, you can be a 2 somewhere and a 10 somewhere else. If it looks good, it looks good.

    And speaking of looking good,

    2. I’m gonna come out and call BS on you being anything over an itty bitty 8 after getting all huggy on you at mighty last week! There is nothing to you, lady! And heck, maybe that’s because you’re dressing to suit your body (which really, I still have no idea how to do, but everyone TELLS me I should do it. I just know it involves not getting muffin tops when I put my pants on) but you looked GREAT and exuded confidence. As Derreck told us, CONFIDENCE and PANACHE!

    Those and a sequin dress– in any size– will take you far, regardless of the number on the tag. <3

    • Reply
      Making it Lovely
      December 5, 2012 at 4:57 pm

      This is me, on the right, dancing my face off at Camp Mighty. I don’t think I look bad, yet I feel bad when I think about not having met my goal. Silly.

  • Reply
    meenal@maison marigold
    December 4, 2012 at 9:53 pm

    you go girl!! rock all those sequins! xx meenal

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    OMG, this is exactly where i am right now. a long battle with depression and subsequent guilt/insecurity had me almost weighing 200lbs. i’m down a little over 20lbs so far and was looking for something sparkly to wear to an annual dinner party that my church has at Christmas. haven’t found the right thing yet (and your dress is lovely but a little out of my price range), but i’m still hopeful. sparkles are a severe departure from the sweats/t-shirts that i’d worn like a uniform for a years. sparkles were for other people…skinny ppl who wanted attention. i wanted to hide, to be invisible. it’s not that i’m skinny, now, or that i want attention. it’s just that i’ve changed and i’m proud of that.

    also, i’ve decided there’s nothing more arbitrary than clothing sizes. i have pants size 8, 10 and 12 while a 14 by some brands doesn’t fit and can where a small shirt from one company and a large from another. it’s maddening just because i don’t always want to have to try something on to see if it’s too big/too small. shopping still isn’t really a favorite thing to do.

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    Thank you so much for writing this post. Your blog is lovely! I read a few blogs, and sometimes I think there is a blog “voice” and they all start sounding and looking the same after a while, and writing about the same stuff. But this post sounds like you, is on something we all think about and don’t talk about often enough. So thank you!

    I did the Whole Living cleanse last year, and bc of it, I was really able to take a look at the role that food plays in my life. For example, snacking for me really wasn’t about being hungry, but about taking a break for myself during the day taking care of a baby and the house work. So I was able to stop that bad habit as a result of the cleanse. Cleaning up my diet wasn’t really about weight for me, but about feeling good (also it felt good to set a goal and accomplish it). The first four days were difficult (I threw up on day two! but if you read about the cleanse stuff, that is supposedly a result of the toxins built up and being cleansed out), and I followed all the directions to a T (even the journaling and exercising). At the end of it (three to four weeks), I had lost a lot of weight, which I was happy about, but I felt better that I’d done it not to lose weight, but to take care of myself. Plus, most of their recipes were really tasty!

  • Reply
    December 4, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    I could say so much about this post! I can definitely relate to how you feel. I am glad you bought the dress! Wearing sequins is so much fun, I wore them when I was big and I still wear them now. And don’t worry, if you do get down to a size 8 you can just get it altered!

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 12:32 am

    That dress is beautiful and you will look beautiful in it!

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 1:33 am

    I definitely feel you on this one! Last Xmas I was a size 22/24 and I’m down to a 14 now and really want to be a 10/12. I’ve always loved clothes and dressing up but it’s frustrating when it seems like all your clothes are too big or clothes you want are too small. I’m invited to a fancy holiday party and I ordered a partially sequined dress too!

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 1:45 am

    I admire your honesty! I was a skinny thing growing up, and a size 6 until right before I got married. After our wedding, I developed some health problems (thyroid, chronic fatigue, etc.), and now I’m a size 18. It really sucks! Especially because cheap, cute clothes are hard to find in my size. I say go for the cute dress and enjoy it!

  • Reply
    Michelle Horton
    December 5, 2012 at 1:56 am

    To me, you were the most confidently dressed woman at Camp Mighty! I think you always look fabulous. :)

    • Reply
      Making it Lovely
      December 5, 2012 at 5:14 pm

      Aw, thank you. I’m so glad you were there this year.

  • Reply
    Nicole RJ
    December 5, 2012 at 6:06 am

    Why do we put ourselves through such misery over an arbitrary number? I’ve just started working on getting rid of the ‘baby weight’ that I regained a year after my baby was born and would love to rock a sequin dress… Good for you for ordering the dress! I’ve never met you, but I’ve been following your blog for years now and I think you look fabulous and should rock your sequin dress with confidence!

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 7:37 am

    I am on a glitter and sequins kick lately, but I’m plus sized and always have been. I don’t know if I’m comfortable enough in my skin to pull off a full-on sequin ensemble, so I’ve started searching for glitzy and shiny accent pieces to wear with the clothes I’m comfortable in. Thanks for being so vulnerable in this post. I feel like women, regardless of size, can really relate to what you’ve said here.

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 8:37 am

    Good for you! As someone who isn’t likely ever to get down to a size 10, you have to dress the body you have. And, lately, I’ve just been trying to fake it until it feels normal.

    You always look awesome, and I am sure that you will rock the dress. Can’t wait to see pictures!

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 9:21 am

    found you through young house love – i had to comment there and here. i love everything you’ve done – so close to my aesthetic. beautiful home!

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 10:03 am

    You are so right!!! After some mean comments on my blog I wrote a post about how the meds I am on have had me bloated and 2 sizes bigger; and I got the sweetest email from another blogger telling me that it was nice of me to be so honest/personal but that I should never feel like I had to explain the way I looked. And she’s right, being healthy is important, especially with little ones around, but shouldn’t we just smile and be happy with what we’ve got and stop waiting for that smaller size? Your post just reminded me that I need to really quit explaining to others and just buy the size that fits me right now….

    You are lovely, remember that.

    Natalie a big admirer

    • Reply
      Making it Lovely
      December 5, 2012 at 5:17 pm

      I can’t believe someone would leave mean comments about someone’s size. That’s terrible – sorry you had to experience it.

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 10:48 am

    You’re dress is on sale! 45% off. And, it’s a beautiful classic :)

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 10:55 am

    You know, I think you are looking great. Last photo I saw of you I thought “she’s lots a TON of weight”. Just wanted to say you do so much and you do it so well. You WILL attain your weight goal and proper eating. I’d figured because you lost so much weight you *were* eating properly, until I’d read your post today. With all that you do it must be difficult to cook up a storm of items which are both pleasing to the palate and healthy, too. But, you will. I have great faith in you! Such an inspiring person, you are.

    • Reply
      Making it Lovely
      December 5, 2012 at 5:19 pm

      I did lose a ton of weight — 50 pounds since having August! It’s ridiculous to beat myself up over not having lost 10 more.

      I don’t eat terribly, but I have a weakness for chocolate and peanut butter — one that I’m all to keen to give in to.

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Thanks for your honesty, Nicole. It’s so frustrating that so many of us (all of us?!) relate to this, because we have so many more interesting things to think about than our weight/figures/looks but it is such a hard cycle to escape. I really want to set a better example for my kids (two girls) with how they view their bodies, but I fear I am doing a poor job. When I see someone else express insecurity over their size, I can immediately say “hold up, you look fabulous and are gorgeous” and mean it with my whole heart. So why can’t I view myself this way?? I wish I could see my figure as yet another thing that links me to the beautiful women in my family and not just for the way it makes me look in jeans.

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 11:13 am

    I’ve been following your blog since I first saw you on Apartment Therapy. You always look great no matter what your size and I love your blog because of your positive posts and great taste in all things gorgeous.

    I’m so glad you opened up about your insecurities. It makes me feel better about myself – it really does. To know I’m not alone. I am a size 14. I just lost 10 lbs but I still need to drop another 40-50 lbs to get to my goal weight!

    So, I bought a gorgeous sequined cardigan to wear to the office Christmas party. I’m going to rock it, just like I’m sure you will rock your sequin dress. I can’t wait to see the photos!

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Good for you dressing the body you have now instead of holding off to dress some ‘future you’.
    That’s one I’m trying to practice too. It seems hard so far, but worth it.
    P.S. yes, reminders of current body incredibleness are worth it too! (Grew and birthed TWO babies! Creative artist woman here, style ish mama, umm hello roller derby!) yes you know all this, just sayin’

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 11:14 am

    P.S. Hope you bought dress in your current size! It’s gorgeous! And you’re gorgeous! Unite!

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 11:17 am

    I absolutely loved reading this post Nicole. You expressed a lot of what I and others feel. I too hope to continue living a healthy lifestyle and lose some weight, but I also want to look good now and will continue to buy clothes that suit my body/make me feel great and surround myself with people that are supportive. Great writing!

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    I think you are beautiful, fit, and have a terrific sense of style!

    I’m so impressed with your weight loss and healthy life style! I’m a size 18 and just at 200 lbs. Your post gives me hope that I too will one day loose a a size or two and possibly wear sequins while adding to my health! :)

    Enjoy your party dress!

    ~ Ali

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Hi Nicole!
    I’m over here from Young House Love – I have never read your blog before until right now, and I was just coming to check out more of your house… but this post stopped me dead in my tracks. I am in the same weight size boat you were – a heavy 18, but not because of pregnancy. I was a size 12 in high school and after being miserable for so long (I’ve been out of high school for 7 years now and gradually gained through college) I am beginning to take my weight back and I would love to be in a 10-12 range. This post was incredibly inspiring. We should sparkle no matter what our size, but I’m ready to get healthy AND sparkle. Thank you for this post!

  • Reply
    Grace@ Sense and Simplicity
    December 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I just heard on the news this morning about two study groups that ate the same and exercised the same (although how they controlled that and monitored that, I’m not sure) and the only difference between the groups was that one group got 5 1/2 hours of sleep a night and the other got 8 hours. The group that got 8 hours of sleep a night lost 5 lbs more in the same length of time as the other group. Interesting, eh?

    • Reply
      Making it Lovely
      December 5, 2012 at 5:26 pm

      I’ve heard that too. I definitely don’t get enough sleep. Six hours is a good night for me.

  • Reply
    Some Christmas Decorating | Making it Lovely
    December 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    […] It Some Christmas Decorating December 5 Bookmark or Share 0 comments So. Speaking of sequins, they’re featured prominently in my home for the holidays.The house may be photographed for a […]

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    I have always struggled with weight and self-image. In high school I had a Britney Spears body, but I was anorexic and unhealthy. In college I discovered a love of food and gained A LOT of weight. After college I’ve tried every diet out there, but have been unable to lose the weight permanently. When I came down with serious digestive issues, my doctor advised that I eat what pretty much is the Paleo diet. It was great because I lost 30 pounds in the course of a year, but I wasn’t better or more healthy, and I was actually worried about the amount of red meat I was eating. I ended up going back to my previous eating habits (which includes all natural and whole foods, incidentally) and within just a couple of months all of the weight was back. It’s depressing, but at the same time, I’m otherwise generally very happy. So it’s kind of a trade off. I look terrible in certain clothes, but I just have to accept that. I’m 35 years old. I shouldn’t be wearing juniors styles anyhow. :-) (At least that’s what I tell myself.) What I’m enjoying about the clothing industry is that people are starting to understand that women are a viable market and that we want stylish, well-made clothes. Sadly, they’re more expensive.

    For what it’s worth, I think you look great and I’m sure you’d rock a sequin dress because you have great taste and you’d choose one that looks great and tasteful on a woman.

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to find your blog. You’re wonderful!

    I admire your honesty and can completely relate to the idea of waiting to buy what you want until some magical number says it’s okay. I keep trying to tell myself that you can’t hold back on fun until things seem “perfect”. You have to celebrate the steps it takes to reach a larger goal, otherwise all of the fun and magic seems to disappear rather quickly.

    Thank you for sharing!
    xo, Jenn (your newest follower)

  • Reply
    Hannah Jade
    December 5, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Thank you, sincerely, for this. You’re dead on the money and it’s so comforting to know I’m not the only one that thinks like this x

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    What a great post, so glad to hear other women think this way. I did the same thing….held back on buying new wardrobe until I reached that “goal” weight. Lost 15 lbs but didn’t feel I was quite there…so no clothes… then I gained most of it back. I think if I had upgraded to clothes that fit my current weight I would’ve been much more motivated to keep it off! Now I’m back at it and aiming to get back down to at least where I was 15 lbs ago. Good luck with your weight loss/maintenance. I know it’s tough!

  • Reply
    Julia @ This Idiot's Guide
    December 5, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    This is my first visit to your blog, and I appreciate your honesty in this post! As you can see from the hundred or so comments you’ve already gotten, you are not alone! I am exactly where you are – a size 10 but always hoping to be a solid 8 instead (which I once was, and have struggled to get back to). I have no babies to blame, either, just a love of junk food. I’ve also been in a similar place as you, refusing to buy new clothes and “waste the money” when I’m expecting/hoping to be a smaller size soon. But what I’ve found is that remaining in old, outdated, worn clothes because you refuse to buy new ones only breeds further loathing of your body because inevitably nothing looks good after a while. Buying new clothes doesn’t mean you don’t still intend to get to your ideal size, it just means you are willing to continue to treat yourself kindly and generously in the meantime! And while you wait to get down to your ideal size, feeling fabulous in new clothes that fit right can give you a boost of confidence and make being just a tad bigger than you’d like a bit more tolerable. Plus, you can always get clothes altered!! With just a few extra bucks and a good tailor that sequined dress can follow you around from size to size. :)

  • Reply
    Mrs. LIAYF
    December 5, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    Nicole – thank you for sharing this. I think women are really, really hard on themselves and how they look. I, too, am finally down to a size 10 after having my son (who is now 5 1/2). I have that last nagging 10-15 pounds to get rid of, and have been hesitant to invest in any nice clothing until I reach a healthier size.

    Did I mention my son is 5 1/2!!!!???? That means, no new clothes for 5 1/2 years!!! I think I need to just let myself buy pretty things now and to feel pretty now. If I found a beautiful sequin dress in a size 10 that looked nice, I would buy it and then find a good tailor/alterations person when I lost the last few pounds. :)

  • Reply
    December 5, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    What a brave post! I have been there, Nicole. I have been an 8, a 16, and everything in between. Now in a comfortable relationship, I find myself at the top end of that spectrum and looking for a wedding dress. Even though I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, my current size is keeping me from enjoying what should be a wonderful experience. I am dreading going dress shopping and embarrassed to take anyone with me. Your post was exactly what I needed to read today. Enjoy your pretty dress!

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    colleen maia
    December 5, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    When my daughters were approaching the middle school years, we got rid of the weight scale in our home. Young girls (and even their mothers) don’t need to be weighing themselves and fretting about a couple pounds up or down. Eat right, exercise, and your natural weight set-point will find itself.

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    December 5, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    This post couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I just started trying to lose weight a month ago on Weight Watchers after becoming almost disgusted with the way I looked. I have struggled with body image for as long as I can remember. I lost weight in university because I wasn’t eating and gained it all back a couple years later. Now, I’m trying to focus on my health. I’ve lost 7 lbs so far, and I’m cooking and enjoying food more than ever. Don’t get me wrong, this week has been hard as the holiday treats have started coming into my office. I got a little carried away with chocolates and candy this week and I feel anxious about looking at the scale on my weigh-in day on Sunday, but I’m trying to remind myself that this is a lifestyle change and it won’t happen all at once. A major motivator for me is looking better in clothes. I’ve struggled with finding a personal style I’m comfortable with because I’m so self-conscious. I can’t wait to find my personal style like you have. Thanks for sharing this. I really needed to read this tonight.

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    December 6, 2012 at 8:25 am

    Over the last two years I lost 50 pounds, and one of the things that kept and keeps me going was learning to treat myself well no matter what size I am. Ironically, sometimes buying, wearing, and feeling awesome in the size 12 dress gives you either the boost of feel goodness to do whatever you want- whether its finally accomplishing your goal of a size 8 or finally being psyched that you look awesome right now as a size 12.

    My other thought: I’m now pregnant with twins, and am back over 200 pounds which is both necessary to build my babies and also a little disheartening. Yesterday a church secretary told me I was a lovely, beautiful person, and then later someone on the street said they thought they’d recently seen me on the Jerry Springer show. I guess nobody is ever going to be able to hold up an accurate mirror for me, so I better get on learning how to do so myself.

    I’m so glad you bought the dress! XO

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