My Life

It’s Personal

I’ve been trying to distract myself with work and some easy projects as our family deals with some heavy news. It hasn’t really been working. Painting is usually my calming zen activity, but it feels daunting now when it shouldn’t. Though I did come up with a highly conceptual art idea about the nature of reality, the way we present ourselves through photographs, the mess behind the scenes, accent walls, and miniatures. I might be in a weird head space?

Egyptian Exhibit at the Field Museum - Miniature Mummification

(↑ From the Field Museum’s Egyptian mummy exhibit. But you know, similar. Perhaps with a tiny black and white abstract on the wall and one piece of furniture that photographs well.)

It’s funny — I’ve been seeing a lot of thoughts about less curation and a more personal blogging approach making a big comeback. And I’ve always tried to keep things personal, even when they’re hard sometimes. But then things happen to us that, although they affect us deeply, aren’t ours to share.

I don’t know how to say this. It’s like ‘XYZ is happening to my son/sister/spouse/friend, but here, let me ramble on about how it makes me feel.’ It can be cathartic to write, but maybe it’s not always appropriate to share? It’s why my loved ones aren’t featured heavily here. It’s why I usually wait for some distance from an event to take time and process before word salad-ing my way through. But I also know that this has affected me to the point that my pulling back from work has been noticeable, so at some point it needed to at least be acknowledged.

Things are hard right now. Knowing that someone you love is going through something scary is hard! But she’s going to be OK. We are hopeful that the worst is behind us.

Sources & Paint ColorsNeed design help? Let's work together.

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  • Kristen
    February 2, 2018 at 11:59 am

    I’ve always admired how you handle your personal “stuff” on this site. I am very sorry you are going through this difficult season. Peace be with you and those you love.

  • Arli
    February 2, 2018 at 12:49 pm

    Sending a big cyber hug and healing thoughts fo4 your friend.

  • Kristina
    February 2, 2018 at 12:59 pm

    When you’re a one-woman show, taking a step back is hard. Supporting your loved ones through rough times is part of life, and it’s okay to need some time and space from work. Keeping you in my thoughts.

  • Holly
    February 2, 2018 at 1:29 pm

    I am sorry that you and your family are going through a lot right now. I cannot tell you how many people I know right now are going through a lot of personal trepidation. January seems to be a time for this type of stuff. But hang in there and the best to your family.

  • Jessibee
    February 2, 2018 at 1:29 pm

    I’m sorry to hear that, Nicole. It’s a difficult position to be in personally and a bit awkward when your job is to be fairly public. You’ve always been a real gold standard in the blogging world to me and I wish you and yours the best outcome possible.

  • Eleanor (not that one, the other one)
    February 2, 2018 at 1:31 pm

    I follow your blog because I love your voice. And all voices need their own private space for processing. Thanks for sharing YOUR story with us, including all your perspectives and with as much nuance as you feel comfortable.

  • Peggi
    February 2, 2018 at 2:14 pm

    I am sorry you and yours are hurting. Here’s hoping that circumstances have turned a corner. Thank you for continuing to share and inspire.

  • Mom
    February 2, 2018 at 3:16 pm

    And here I am crying as I read this. :) Everything will be okay. I love you.

  • glenda1203
    February 2, 2018 at 3:43 pm

    Sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Peace and strength. Some days are just so hard. The last 3 yrs in Jan. I received bad news.

  • Kelly
    February 2, 2018 at 4:05 pm

    Sending hugs and support. <3

  • Vanessa Morsse
    February 2, 2018 at 5:32 pm

    I know exactly what you mean, Nicole. It’s something I’ve been struggling with on my site/in my business, too. I want to talk SO MUCH, but some stories aren’t ours to tell. Very astute way of putting it. My thoughts go out to you and your family while you go through this trying time.

  • Julia at Home on 129 Acres
    February 2, 2018 at 7:06 pm

    My sincerest sympathies. We’ve been going through a cancer scare since last fall with my husband (roughly around the same timeline as we found out we were pregnant with our first). I tend to be pretty open and process things by sharing and talking and writing. But my husband is different, so I try to be conscious of how and what I share and talk things through with him (and write regardless just for myself). I think it’s important to know yourself and find the outlets that are helpful for you. While painting is usually my therapy as well, I’ve discovered that it’s not the same outlet that it once was–mostly because I usually paint to music and every song now has new meaning for me. Painting to podcasts has helped to empty my mind a bit. All my best to you and your family as you continue through this difficult situation.

  • solusi mengatasi lemah syahwat
    February 2, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    I’ve been your loyal reader for many years, your article is so great that it can inspire readers

  • Laura
    February 2, 2018 at 10:42 pm

    Here is wishing a good outcome for your loved one. We, your readers, care and empathize. Thank you for sharing. Hugs.

  • Geneviève Thiffault
    February 3, 2018 at 7:20 am

    Thanks for your honesty. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  • Shelly Mathes
    February 4, 2018 at 7:49 am

    Praying for you and yours. God bless.

  • Nole
    February 4, 2018 at 10:30 am

    I’m so sorry your family and loved ones are going through such a rough time right now. I hope everything will be okay! And I’m in the same boat as you on personal stuff – I don’t want to share stories that aren’t mine, but so many of my stories involve those around me. I’m not really sure how to bring “me” back into my writing process – or really if anyone is even interested or cares? My blog was never really intended as a personal blog, so while I love seeing how other people share their stories, I’ve never really felt comfortable doing it myself. It definitely has me in a weird headspace these days, too!

  • Good (Great!) News - Making it Lovely
    February 9, 2018 at 2:18 pm

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